Russell, you are unhappy that you cannot send mail to some addresses because the recipients are using callbacks, trying to verify your address. Actually that looks almost like a feature, the system is preventing you from sending mail to somebody who would not be able to reply to you. ;-)
If you wanted to break this nice symmetry while continueing the usage of blacklists to reject all mail from the blacklisted hosts but allowing smtp callbacks to succeed you could reject these on pre-DATA stage instead after RCPT, i.e.
-> RCPT TO:<foo@example.com> <- 250 Accepted -> DATA <** 550 go away-----